Imagine a night where you can’t sleep, your chest feels tight, and every breath feels heavier than the last. You toss and turn, lose hair, gain weight from stress-induced cortisol spikes, and even lose your appetite for your favorite foods. You feel nauseated, cry unexpectedly, and want to scream. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it? This is what I went through by saying ‘yes’ to everything in my career.

I am a type ‘A’ perfectionist and I hate this label. Not so long ago, I took pride in this label, believing it made me successful. I piled my plate high, refused to delegate, and expected perfection from myself and others. But in reality, I was burning out. I kept saying yes to everything that came to me. I wanted to do everything and rise up the corporate ladder early on. I basked in the glory of being awarded the ‘Youngest Achiever’ title without realizing the repercussions I would have years later.

I knew something needed to change. I went in a spiral of conflict and anxiety wanting to change my situation desperately. Endless doubts popped up in my mind. What if I get my promotion denied if I say no to an opportunity? Maybe I can do this, I am just overthinking it. What if they forget me and never again give me any good opportunity? So many what ifs crossed my mind. My anxiety further shot the roof when I was engaged in an activity without my say or awareness around it, not once, but twice!!

This was the moment I decided to stand up for myself. I could either make my life and career an endless whirlpool of what ifs or I could choose consciously where I truly want to invest my time and energy. I knew I needed a mindset shift, but I didn’t know where to start. Then, I came across the book ‘Essentialism’ by Greg Mckeown, and it changed everything. It encourages about making certain trade-offs in your career. I started asking this key question – ” If I am saying yes to an opportunity, what other opportunities am I saying no to?“. This resulted in a floodgate of realization and it suddenly dawned on me that I have been taking up meaningless tasks on my plate which will serve me no purpose and only to get distracted from the main projects which actually excited me. I purposely started prioritizing my work and came up with 3 major projects out of 20 or so odd tasks which would actually shape my career and expand my knowledge.

You will question me now – Suman, what was the trade off here? By narrowing my focus to three meaningful projects instead of 20 scattered tasks, I am risking delaying my promotion and reducing my visibility. But in return, I started gaining something far more valuable—better work-life balance and the joy of truly engaging in my work.

This was a lot to dump on my readers but I wanted to provide these key takeaways out of my experience:

• Your company will always push for more—know your limits.
• A “no” to distractions is a “yes” to meaningful work.
• Prioritize projects that excite you and contribute to your growth.
• Saying no may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s necessary for long-term success.

The journey of saying no has just started for me. But, I wanted to put it out there for everyone to help as much as I can through my experience.

Have you ever had a moment where you realized it was time to take control of your career? When did you finally decide to stop overloading yourself and start focusing on what truly matters? Share your experience in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Thank you for reading!